***
Vivienne
"Don't
come back until you've earned enough for a decent meal!"
My
uncle's voice chased me out of the house, but I didn't leave yet. I waited
patiently for my aunt to appear at the door with the usual bundle that I took
whenever I was forced to scrounge for money. Inside, I heard the sound of a
bottle smash against a wall, and I sighed heavily. Uncle hadn't been the same
since the fire.
Life
wasn't always like this. Uncle used to be a violist in the orchestra at the
Opera Garnier, and I myself used to be a ballerina. The fire that destroyed the
Opera House nearly two years ago turned our world upside down. Too proud to
fall from a musician to a laborer and on too friendly of terms with cognac as
it was, Uncle started drinking even more, and he was no longer the kind, jovial
man who'd taken me in when my parents died under the Commune. He was bitter,
angry, and sometimes abusive toward my aunt and me. He never raised a hand to
us, but he made my aunt take in laundry for money and hurt her with cruel
words, and he made me go out into the streets to earn whatever I could in
whatever manner.
My
aunt, however, would go so far as to smuggle me out some boy's clothes and
Uncle's viola when I left. Back in a happier time, he'd taught me to play a
little, and if I stood on a street corner, dressed as a boy playing for spare
coins, it meant that I wouldn't have to sell my body so we could eat.
The
front door opened again and my aunt appeared. She handed me the clothes and
Uncle's viola, safe in its case. "Be very careful, Vivienne," she
told me. "Your uncle would be angry if something happened to his
viola."
"I
know, aunt," I said. It was a risk taking it out of the house anyway,
considering my uncle had no knowledge of it, but I refused to become a
prostitute and my aunt, thankfully, didn't expect me to. I kissed her goodbye,
then hurried off. If I was lucky, I'd be back before dark.
I
found somewhere out of sight to change out of my dress, tucking my long auburn
hair up under a cap and using long strips of linen to bind down my breasts.
When I first started doing this, I'd been terrified someone would see through
my disguise, but I'd learned since that people only see what they expect to. If
I looked the part, no one would suspect that the small boy was really a young
woman.
Appropriately
attired, I took the viola and found a corner that was reasonably busy. The
secret was getting a place where people would be sure to hear me, but where I
ran the least risk of being shooed off or worse by a policeman, or of being
robbed by some ruffian. I tuned the instrument, rosined the bow, set it to the
strings, and began to play. I was by no means talented, but I had some skill,
enough that every now and then someone would stop and listen and maybe even
throw some coins into the open case at my feet. I'd always smile at them, then keep
playing. If I encouraged them enough with my smile, sometimes they'd give me
more money. I'd learned how to work a crowd long ago in the corps de ballet,
and my experience served me well as a street musician.
I
stood on the corner all day, until the sun began to set and I guessed I'd taken
enough money to pay for our dinner. I put the viola back in the case, scooping
the money out and stowing it in a pouch in my pocket. Then I headed off for
home, taking my usual detour past the burnt-out Opera House.
The
building looked ghostly in the gloom, a fitting kingdom for the phantom who had
been said to live there. I'd never given credence to the stories the other
ballet girls loved to share like the truffles they insisted would ruin their
figures, but on the night of the fire, I'd seen him for myself from my place in
the wings. He'd snuck onstage to join Christine Daaé in a duet destined to
bring the house down—literally. When my former ballet comrade ripped away the
mask he wore, the auditorium had filled with screams at the sight of his face,
though that was the one thing I hadn't caught a glimpse of. It must have been
terrible by the way everyone shrieked and gasped, yet they soon forgot all
about it as the chandelier plunged from the ceiling, the gas lamps that lit it
exploded, and the body of Ubaldo Piangi was discovered backstage. When the fire
broke out, my only thought was of finding my uncle and getting out alive. We
joined the stampede for the exits, Uncle still clutching his precious viola,
and we stood out on the street watching our world burn, fearing what the future
would hold in store.
It
holds this, I told myself. Masquerading every day
and practically begging on a street corner. Ah, well, at least we weren't
starving and I wasn't forced to the indignity of selling myself for survival.
I'd prided myself on being one of the few ballet rats who didn't flirt with the
stagehands and fornicate with the subscribers. I might have been a lowly chorus
girl, but I still had my self-respect.
I
sighed and turned away from the Opera House. It was getting darker, and I still
needed to buy food for the night before going home. I fished the money pouch
out of my pocket and began to count my earnings.
"I'll
take that, my good son."
I
gasped at the sudden, gruff voice and the hand that snatched my money from me.
"Give that back!" I demanded, knowing it was as good as useless. The
man just chuckled, his grimy hands closing tightly over the little pouch. He
was taller than me, broader, and much stronger. I couldn't hope to take my
money back from him. His eyes darted down to the case in my hand and he said,
"Now what's in here, boy?" He yanked the case out of my grip, and this
time I struggled desperately to get it back. If I went home without the viola,
Uncle would surely turn me out of the house.
"Give
it back!" I cried. "Give it back!" I kicked at him and swung my
arms wildly, but one blow from his fist knocked me to the ground and my cap
fell off, my long hair tumbling down onto my shoulders.
I
heard the man's surprised exclamation with a thrill of horror. My worst fear,
realized. Someone had seen me for the fraud I was.
"Well,
now," he said, his voice amused and intrigued, "what have we here, mon
cher? A girl?"
I
scrambled to my feet and tried to run, but he grabbed my arm in a vice-like
grip and breathed into my ear, "What kind of strumpet tries to pass
herself off as a boy? There are so much more profitable things you could do
with your time, my sweet."
"Let
me go!" I screamed. "Please, let me go!"
He
dropped the viola and the money and clapped his hand over my mouth. He dragged
me over to a shadowy recess near the Opera House where no one could see us and
forced me up against the wall. Keeping one hand over my mouth so I couldn't cry
for help, he tore at the waist of my boy's trousers. I fought tooth and nail to
get free, but he was so much stronger than I was. I closed my eyes tightly and
tried to take my mind away from this dark street, but I felt the tears force
themselves from beneath my eyelids. Nineteen years of carefully preserving my
innocence, and it would all end with this.
There
was a terrible pain between my legs, and through it I could feel my attacker
inside me. I couldn't breathe, I was so choked by stifled sobs. I could hear
him breathing, grunting, laughing to himself at my helplessness. Please,
God, let it be over soon, I prayed. Please, just let it be over.
Finally,
I felt the man pull away from me. The pain in my body was too much; my legs
folded beneath me and I fell in a heap to the ground. "There, now, that
wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked, then he spat at me. I looked up to see
him return to the fallen money and Uncle's viola, pick them up, then walk away.
I
was shaking so badly I could hardly get my trousers up again, and when I was
decent I collapsed in shame and despair. I couldn’t stand, the pain still too
great to let me. My only thought was, What will Uncle say when he finds I
lost his viola?
The
sobs burst from me then. I couldn't go home. I couldn't face my aunt and uncle
and tell them what had happened. I crawled across the ground to a gate that led
under the Opera and pushed on it. It swung open with an earsplitting whine; I
pulled myself through to the darkness beyond and gave myself over to my tears.
***
Erik
I
sat staring at the music before me, but I couldn't bring myself to play. What
was the use, I asked myself, when the heart and soul had been stolen away from
me, when the music itself no longer held any comfort? She'd taken it with her when
she left me that night two years ago. Had it only been two years? It had seemed
like a lifetime.
I
sighed, then swept my hand out and sent the music fluttering to the floor.
There was no use in playing, no use in breathing, no use at all. Why I'd let myself
go on for this long was beyond me, telling myself that perhaps the music would
save me again, like it had in the past. Only now did I see the truth: Music
couldn't save me any more than it could change my face, the face that had
driven her away from me. I hung my head. "Christine," I whispered.
"Christine..."
I
stayed there for the longest time, her name still on my lips, when a new sound
reached me—the metallic shriek of rusty hinges, then the weeping of a heart
lost to sorrow. If it weren't for the sound of the hinges, I might have
believed that the weeping was the sound of my own broken heart, but I knew
otherwise. Someone was in the Opera.
Getting
to my feet, I crept through my house and went to the edge of the lake. I could
hear it clearer now. There was someone crying on the far shore.
With
a curse, I climbed into the boat I'd recovered after Christine and her vicomte
left and began to row. Since the fire, people had been sneaking into my Opera
House, curious and eager to see where the notorious Phantom had made his
empire. A few simple tricks were enough to drive most of them away: a
disembodied voice in the darkness, a falling backdrop for the ones who made it
backstage, a glimpse of movement in the shadows for those who still weren't
convinced there was anything to fear from ghosts. Only a handful had ever
penetrated to the lake, forcing the lock on the gate from the Rue Scribe, and
I'd had to be harsh with them. The siren had sung on several occasions, and the
Punjab lasso had seen some work. I knew exactly how to deal with this new
intruder.
I
lit on the bank without a sound and leaped from the boat, readying the lasso in
my hands as I went. I approached with silent footsteps, closing in on the
crying person. Tears wouldn't help them now. They had dared to disturb me in my
misery, they had wanted to see the face of the damned, and their curiosity had
damned them in return.
Light
from the street fell upon the figure, face down on the ground and sobbing as
though the world had ended. It was the sound that filled my mind during my
waking hours and even my dreams when I could bear to sleep. My hands slackened
their grip on the rope...
No,
no mercy. It was mercy that had let Christine leave me in this hell. I was done
with mercy.
I
stepped forward and stopped again. I could see a long mane of dark red hair,
like a cascade of fire. This intruder was a woman, and she lay at my feet,
heedless that her end was approaching, defenseless like my other victims,
probably not even caring.
I
lowered the rope again. What was the matter with me? She was an intruder, she
needed to be taken care of!
She
suddenly looked up around her, finally sensing my presence, and her eyes fell
on me for a moment before she lost consciousness.
I
stood indecisively. I should kill her and get it over with right now, but
something in the way she'd cried seemed to bind her to me. She had known
suffering like mine; only one who had felt such utter heartbreak could
recognize it in another.
Erik,
you're losing your grip, I told myself, yet I knelt down and
scooped her into my arms, carrying her to the boat and heading back to my
house. The lasso I left lying on the bank where I'd found her.
How's that one?
Your pal,
Angels
I love the re-write! I remember the original but not in detail. The re-write seems to flow better and makes you yearn for the next chapter. I like Erik's readiness to kill, until he hears the binding suffer in her cry. Are you going to post this on PotOF? If so, I'll be looking for it to give my comment. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI thought about re-posting it on FanFiction.net, but I didn't want to do that if I couldn't post it on the forum as well...and I have no idea how I would post it all twice! If you want, I can send you the file when it's all finished so you can read the whole thing...
DeleteThanks Gemma. I'll just read these chapters as you post them on your site. I just wanted to be sure to catch posted stories for comment, but understand the double-post confusion.
ReplyDelete