Saturday, October 22, 2011

Guys in Capes!

In the spirit of Halloween, I decided to do something fun and off-the-wall (not like that's a deviation from my typical behavior...) I now present to you, the League of Cloaked Gentlemen!*

*Any relation to the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is purely coincidental, though I'm sure you'll agree these guys are awesome.

Understand now, I'm not referencing superheroes, because Those Guys are just too flashy. I'm talking about the dashing, debonair, don't-need-no-stinking-cape-to-be-cool-but-actually-know-how-to-work-that-bad-boy guys. I'm talking about These Guys.

Erik, AKA the Phantom of the Opera
    Surprise! Mr. Cape Twirl of Doom himself! Wouldn't you love to be Christine sitting in that gondola? Erik certainly fits the criteria for the LCG: the cape for one thing, and that certain flair of character that makes him one cool dude. He's a genius! A magician! A composer! He's the freakin' Phantom of the Opera! Granted, he's got a short circuit somewhere in that genius brain of his...he lives underneath an opera house and passes the day threatening the management, strangling stage hands, and abducting beautiful sopranos...but you're not going to hold that against him, are you? Fine line between genius and insanity, and all that.

Count Dracula
 You didn't think I'd leave the Count out of this, did you? He's the paragon of dashing, debonair caped men! They all just wish they could be him! While Erik's cape adds to his flair, Dracula's makes him all the more terrifying. It sort of reminds you of bat wings, doesn't it? (But Angels, that's the idea, you twit!) And if we're honest with ourselves, it was Count Vlad that gave us the Cape Twirl of Doom to start with. Hats off to you, Your Grace! And please, do something about that nasty habit of draining lovely young Victorian women of their plasma!

 What more need be said? He's the New World version of Robin Hood. He can not only work the cape, but he can also swashbuckle like there's no tomorrow and wields a whip better than Indiana Jones! But who gets the credit for his awesomeness: Douglas Fairbanks, or Antonio Banderas? I'll let you decide.

Puss in Boots
 Just kidding!

 This cloaked gentleman is, if possible, even more of a psycho than our dear Phantom. It takes some kind of loony to blow up the Old Bailey while conducting the 1812 Overture, torture an innocent woman you consider an ally, and then engineer your own explosive farewell. But I'm sure behind the infinitely creepy Guy Fawkes mask, there's an even creepier yet somehow endearing, sweet, well-meaning fellow. Requiescat in pace, V. We hardly knew ye.

 I know, the cloak isn't necessarily part of the uniform, but come on! Look at him! That picture alone gets him a place here! Besides, have you seen what he can do with a sword? He pulled out a win at Helm's Deep and commanded an army of the dead! Are you saying you're going to deny the rightful king of Gondor his place in the LCG?

I didn't think so.

I'm sure there's more out there, but I can't think of them right now. Sorry guys, better luck next time. And now that we've got our dose of random madness out of the way, I can leave you with a promise that next time, there will be something just as random and just as mad.

Your pal,


  1. I haven't actually seen LotR but dang Aragorn gets lots and lots and lots of points for the cape :)

  2. It's a nine-hour commitment to watch all three movies, but it's worth it! There's plenty of cape points to be passed out! :)

  3. Although I will always be a phan of Erik's cape no matter what, I do like what V can do with his cape during the final fight scene. He definitely gets cape points for that!

  4. Hey, heather! Yeah, V gets lots of style points for that scene, and I only wish I could give him more for that flowered apron!


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