I'm nowhere close to catching up with my reading, but I can at least catch up on reviewing!
A married man in possession of a dark fortune must be in want of an eternal wife...
hand is trembling as I write this letter. My nerves are in tatters and I
am so altered that I believe you would not recognize me. The past two
months have been a nightmarish whirl of strange and disturbing
circumstances, and the future...
I am afraid.
happens to me, remember that I love you and that my spirit will always
be with you, though we may never see each other again. The world is a
cold and frightening place where nothing is as it seems.
MY RATING: 2 STARS
That's the summary and rating, and this is the review:
like my chances at getting a novel of my own published by a major
company, because it looks like they'll print anything these days...
be really pissed off that I spent money to buy this if I hadn't gotten
it dirt cheap at a thrift store. Two dollars buys a book worth only two
stars, who'da thunk it? In the end, I went with two because I couldn't
even muster the energy to out and out dislike this book. The most it got
out of me was a "meh." As a vampire novel, it failed. The word didn't
even appear until halfway through the whole thing, not counting the
title. As a Pride and Prejudice
sequel, it failed. Darcy was stiff and boring, and Lizzy was never this
slow, insipid and needy. As a Jane Austen retelling, it really
failed. Grange completely lacked the wit, humor and charm of Miss
Austen and can barely stand on her own merit without trying to cash in
on someone else's.
I'm not saying that a P&P-with-vamps
story can't be done. As a matter of fact, I'm tempted to try it myself.
I'm saying that this ain't that story. This is more like a rip-off of Twilight than P&P (and I paid
for this crap?!). Darcy may not sparkle, but he turns transparent at
dawn, so that's close enough for me. And hell, even Bella freaking Swan
figured out about Edward Cullen before Lizzy found out about Darcy!
not what ticked me off the most. It was the constant, direct quotes
from the original that did that. Always verbatim, and always at least
three in a chapter. What was the purpose of this, exactly? To prove that
Grange read the original? Not very well, it seems, as both hero and
heroine are so far out of character to the point of assassination. Was
she trying to separate it from Twilight by throwing as much of Jane as
she could in there? Was she trying to be clever, in putting such a spin
on a classic? In this, she also failed.
The atmosphere threw me off as well. P&P is bright, cheery and playful. This is not. Decent
vampire stories are dark, full of mystery, and occasionally scary. This
is not. I have no idea what this is, but I can only call it bad fan
fiction. Not the worst, as I've read some pretty nauseating garbage, but
bad enough to be getting along with. It was dull and uninteresting, and
I only finished it because it was so short and I literally had nothing
else to do. This thing only serves to prove that if you pander to the
folks in charge at the publishing houses and give them what sells--in
this case, vampires and retellings of classics--then regardless of
talent or worth, you too can see your name in print!
Your humble book nerd,